Obituary of Frances F. Sokol

UNADILLA- Frances Elizabeth Fieder Sokol passed away February 3, 2021 at A.O. Fox Nursing Home in Oneonta after weeks with Covid-19. Prior to death Frances had a personal 'Compassionate Care Visit' from daughter Dorothy, who represented her extended family with songs, smiles, affection, prayer, and news from her scruffy J.R. Terrier. Her dear dog died shortly after Frances, she at 100 years young and he at 126 dog-years old. We know their spirits are in a good place. (Author's apologies for such a belated obit submission. Complicated grief can be very distracting and debilitating.) Frances was a bit iconic in several circles. How did this female marvel fit so much joyful service into a century of life? Born an only child, December of 1920 in Mt Vernon, NY to parents Horatio Edward and Janet Mae (Dunham) Fieder, her father joked that Frances was his "only son"! He taught her simple carpentry at age 2 1/2 (with a child's set of real tools). While she was young, the two of them bonded making USA Presidential Dollhouses. Her "Mt. Vernon" dollhouse was well used by family for decades. In the Depression Era, Frances grew up in many towns, boarding houses, schools, and States. At times she lived with relatives or close family friends in Maine, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Long Island and the Bronx. She worked as a child and never retired. A member of what historians now called our nation's 'greatest generation', Frances's life was a legend, so her husband insisted she begin to type her memoirs. Strong chapters were about — Worcester, Mass. farm-life, (age 9); Being her own Dr.'s surgical nurse and soloing as a midwife during blizzards near Boston (age 15); Being honored with the American Mensa ('genius') award at Bronx's Walton High graduation after missing her first high school year; Performing at what used to be called the World's Fair, as one of the folk & ballroom dance teachers for the American People's School in the Bronx. As a dance teacher, she met her husband Oscar who "needed" solo tutoring. Both were painfully shy, but he wooed her with Catskills mountain hikes and had her work with him as a youth counselor at Camp Solidarity Summer Youth Camp outside NYC. While engaged, she was secretary for Royal Globe & Eagle Insurance. She also designed and patterned stylish gowns and outfits through YWCA's School of Dress Design. A week after Pearl Harbor, Oscar & Frances married at the Peoples School cultural hall where they'd met. Though she was accepted at Pratt Art Institute for Design, she chose to help her new husband finish his BS engineering degree (CCNY). They moved to Detroit,1942 for his first engineering job with General Motors. In 1946 they moved to NYS with two little tykes into an historic Inn at Unadilla Center. Oscar worked at Scintilla/ Bendix/ Amphenol in Sidney, NY, as a mechanical engineer designing fuel pumps for decades. Frances thrived at their new family's 'hobby farm'. Like many homemakers & mothers, Fran worked for wages when her brood of five were old enough. Her wages were low, but the non-financial rewards for all involved were huge. She stitched at Oneonta Dress Co, helped at health food store "Naturally Yours" (Main St, Unadilla), trained at H&R Block, assisting with "income tax prep" in Sidney; worked for Vestige Services (Otsego County's "Meals on Wheels"), helping cook & serve weekday Senior lunches (prior to the Big Flood, 2006). Frances also felt honored to do jury duty twice for Otsego County. Appointed by Unadilla Friends Church as a 'Recorded Minister' in the (Quaker) Society of Friends, Frances presided at weddings and funerals, visited the homebound, hospital patients, nursing home residents, and prisons. She gave private counsel and solace to hundreds. Frances served on NY Friends (Quaker) Yearly Meeting Committees, making long drives to urban and rural business meetings and conventions a few times a year. She was a member of Unadilla Friends Church for many years. Later, she and Oscar met with Chenango Friends Silent Meeting. Frances joined with several other Silents Meetings to form the Butternuts Friends Monthly Meeting in Oneonta's locale. Fran happily raised five children. She often said: "One daughter to help raise the boys; one more daughter to just enjoy!" She and Oscar opened their hearts, home, garden and delicious food to many people, young and old, during their 66-year marriage. Both were known as mentors and contributive citizens on local, national and global levels. Frances helped Unadilla Central School's PTA, taught 4-H with the Unadilla Grange, Summer Bible School Camp for Methodists & Quakers, and Sunday School at Rogers Hollow Friends Church. She clerked regularly at the Democratic table for Otsego County Board of Elections (Unadilla and Cooperstown). She also tutored English (Sidney) for Literacy Volunteers, was an active member of Unadilla Rotary Club International, UNICEF, and ACLU, NAACP, Friends Committee on National Legislation (FCNL) meeting several times with Sen. Jacob Javits in Washington (her host, a Quaker colleague in D.C., famed novelist James Michener). Frances chaired the (Quaker) National Friends Race Relations Committee in the early '70s. It was that role which prompted her to disclose a deep family secret: her biological grandma, Sarah Jackson (live-in cook, nurse and housekeeper for Frances' grandparents, Harriet Eaton and Fred Fieder's family in Chicago) bore a son with them to raise as their own. Until 1865 Sarah had been a mulatto slave-child at her own father's plantation in Virginia. Revealing this secret created quite a healthy stir in Frances and her world in general. The name "Frances" means "free one". The family adjusted well to Frances' new sense of self. Oscar and she decided it was her turn to go to college at SUCO (NY State University College at Oneonta). After eight years she graduated, in 1978, along with her daughter Dorothy (Cornell), daughter-in-law Marianne (Boston University), and niece Kirstin (Tufts). It was a banner year for the family! As a BA student of Art, Lit, Theatre, and Afro-American cultural studies, Frances initiated the formation of a multi-purpose hall for the Third World Org. on campus. For this, Morris Hall's former lower-level dining hall on SUCO's campus was offered by the Dean. Here she helped mostly Black, Hispanic, and foreign students to create spaces for peer-tutoring, recreation, art displays, original dramas, discussion groups, Ghanaian (African) "talking drum" and dance classes, and soup-kitchen service. As she mentored students, some grew close to her and Oscar, and were informally "adopted". The active cultural center was called "Karibu". For her countless hours and effects on student population, Frances was given a special plaque at her SUCO Graduation by the "President's Task Force on Black~Hispanic Studies and Activities", for Meritorious Service ~1970-1978. Frances and Oscar were busy 'empty nesters' as gardeners and social activists, and tended their family as it extended and flourished. A charismatic team with the stubborn streaks' survivors need, they generously passed their resourceful, inventive gifts on, along with ethical values, spiritual strength, and forgiving patience that comes with years of practice. Frances designed and stitched fine family clothes and fabulous costumes for her kids on shoestring budgets. Her work was noticed by Jack Deuel, longtime Director of "Tri Town Theatre". He drew her into that world and coaxed her to donate her talent as the regional theater company's Technical Director. She designed and lit stage sets for some 50 productions. She taught high schoolers and area volunteers to paint, plumb, electrify flats, paint scrims, construct floors & staircases. As the stage curtains opened, audiences applauded for the sets Fran designed. In fond appreciation, Frances was given two heavy plaques (1988 & 1995) listing most of the musicals and dramas graced by her artful genius and labors of a dozen years. Frances and Oscar L Sokol, Jr. were predeceased by five parents: Horatio Edward Fieder & Janet Mae Dunham Fieder (NYC & Unadilla); Oscar, Sr. & Rosa W. Sokol, then Hilda W. Sokol (all NYC). They lost their son John Sokol (baby Jean's twin brother (d.1942). They lost "special sons": Timona Ombima (Pa), Alex Moir (NYC); grandchildren: Carl David Morris & his fiancé' Belinda Ross (Tenn). After Oscar died in 2007, Frances was predeceased by: brother-in-law Robert Sokol (NH), sister-in-law Lotte Franklin (Idaho), Dorothy's life partner, Charles Roy Purcell (NYS), daughters-in-law Joanne Kenney (Ga), Juanita Coston (NC); "special sons" Ronald Danner (Cal), Kofi Ladzekpo (Ghana), granddaughter Valerie Marlana (Ga), and niece Carol Smith-Sokol (Mass). Surviving Frances' death were: Sister-in-law, Hilda Weyl Sokol (NH) (d. 2023); Daughters: Jeanne E. Sokol Morris (Robert H. Morris) (Tenn), Dorothy A. Sokol (NYS); "special" daughters: Tina Bliss (Tim Moran) (Maine), daughter-in-law Frances Bragg (Fla) (d. 2022); Michelle Lanting (Cal), Betty Tash (Fla), Sue Routek (NYS); special friends Deb Dickinson, Louise Lesh (NYS), Diana Kramer (Fla), Sons: Robert Eaton Sokol (d. 2023) (widow, Dorothy Gourdine) (NC) , Albert L. Sokol (wife Marianne R. Hessner) (Mass), Carl F. Sokol (Life partner Grace Cheung Schulman) (Cal); "special" sons: Doe Ladzekpo (TX) (deceased), Ben Ladzekpo (Cal); Grandchildren: Trebor (Teresa) Sokol (Fla), Joseph (Kelly) Morris (Fla), Virginia R. Hughes-Morris (Tenn), Adam (Jessie) Kenney (Sokol) (Okl), Sage Sokol (wife Erin Malone) (Cal), Lauge Sokol-Hessner (Ore), Peter Sokol-Hessner (wife Chessy Brady) (Denver), ('bonus', Morgan Purcell (Hannah Spring VanArsdale) (NYS), Jessica Reckeweg (NYS), Chelsea Purcell (Sam Michaels)(Cal); Brian Hughes (Tenn). Great-grandchildren: Cheryl Marie (Alonzo) Williams, Sydney Sokol, Nickolas Sokol, Christopher Sokol, Will Morris, Libby Morris (all of Florida), Star Cheyenne Morris, Joe Hughes (both of Tenn), Eva M. Kenney, twins Claire & Elaina Kenney (Okl); twins Astrid & Torin Sokol-Brady (Denver); 'bonus' Ezra Purcell (NYS), Charlie Rose and Judah Michaels (Cal); Three great, great grandchildren: Annabelle, Alonzo, and Alice Williams (Fla); Nieces, Nephews: Kirstin Sokol (Don Greenstein), Niels Sokol (Lynn Graham), Heidi Sokol (Steve Scully) and their families (all of Mass), Delanie ('nee' Franklin), Star Rendt, and their families (western US). Deep thanks go to Unadilla's 2009 Volunteer Emergency Ambulance Medics & local ambulances for rescuing and transporting this remarkable woman to Johnson City; for ER Nurses, Surgeons, & Staff at Wilson Memorial Regional Hospital, all saving Frances's life at age 88 (April 09, 2009), after being hit by a speeding car in a Unadilla crosswalk; for the caring staff & Physical Therapists at Countryside Care Rehab, Delhi, NY, who helped her to walk again. Frances returned home to Unadilla at age 90, enjoying seven contented years with daughter Dorothy as caregiver/companion, and welcome visits from her children/ friends! Thanks to Fox Nursing Home & Bassett staff for 3 years of care and camaraderie until age 100. Thanks dear family, friends, neighbors & colleagues with whom she worked and played for ten decades~ 'round the Country, 'round the Globe ~ for loving and respecting Frances & her work. Her spirit loves you still. In lieu of flowers, folks might plant a seed in Frances' memory, or support Emergency Squads, Animal Shelters, Arts, Education, and helping nurture kindness & peace both locally & globally. No calling hours or Celebration of Life will occur without further notice. Bassett Hospital sponsored a (winter 2021) candle-lighting church memorial in Fly Creek, NY for their patients who succumbed to Covid-19. Frances was also included in two articles by Michael Foster Rothbart, published in "All Otsego" (winter 2021) re: Covid's effects on a local nursing home. Private interment is at her family's plot in Rogers Hollow Friends Cemetery, Unadilla, NY. Family mail address: Sokols, PO Box 5, Unadilla, NY 13849 Share notes, memories, or photos online at www.landersfh.com. Arrangements under the direction of C.H. Landers Funeral Chapel, Sidney.